Bad Girls S1E04 : The Victim

The Victim 受害者

第一集的Carol是首宗意外傷害事件，本集Rachel之死就是第一件死亡紀事．編劇花了很大篇幅來堆砌她自殺的重重壓力，幾乎一票人牽涉其中，成為或多或少的推手．

在Bad Girls前三季裡，死傷事件不只這兩件，但是每次都像無頭公案，真正的肇因都被次要原因掩蓋，最後多半不了了之，有些死傷事件的蘊釀便連帶流於草率．如果要描述一個女子之死，Rachel的個案，堪稱是編劇最「華麗的」安排，不論死亡前後，都大力舖陳，雖然我們因為太了然於胸，而有點無動於衷．但是這一集對105的劇情影響的確是陣陣漣漪．

本集除了Rachel之外，還有兩位受害者，一位是Nikki，一位是Zandra未出世的孩子．Nikki因Trish提出分手，一度消沉到有自殺的念頭，對照Nikki為救她而入獄的原因，令人不勝噓唏．Zandra在悔婚後，出於憤恨，原本想墮胎了斷情緣，只是舉目所視，天底下最近的親人竟只剩腹中的胎兒．

另外，從203至204，最有意思的比喻是關於菸與愛情的關連，請仔細看Nikki與Trish這二集的互動．

影集開場，堪稱唯一有良心的獄官Dominic的機車在路上拋錨，正巧Helen路過載他一程．輕描淡寫的一段劇情，牽引後面：Dominic成為唯一支持Helen理念的獄官，而由崇拜到愛慕，以致於後來意外引起Nikki的飛醋．


雖然主線是Rachel之死，但是編劇把前半段的舞台都留給了Zandra發揮，她的台詞既辛辣又反諷，表現強烈的個性；相形之下，老是搞不清楚狀況的Rachel就有點不得人心．不是觀眾沒有同理心，而是這個角色塑造不容易取得同情．

Helen與Zandra再度討價還價，上次是為了婚禮，這次是為了墮胎．就像Nikki面對壓力時的借力反擊，編劇在Zandra身上又玩了一把：
Helen: Are you sure this is what you want?　妳確定要墮胎？
Zandra: No miss, i'm just wasting your time. 我不確定，我只是想浪費妳的時間．(其實Zandra意思是："妳的問題很蠢"．當然她另外盤算的是趁機脫逃找男友攤牌．)

到臨去診所當日，Zandra與Bodybag的對話，更是荒謬:
Bodybag: Where's she skiving off to? 她匆匆忙忙要去哪？
Zandra: Day by the seaside miss.　到海濱渡假．(她隨口說，Bodybag竟也正經地接口)
Bodybag: I believe it n'all, it's like Butlins in here. They'll have us wearing red coats and doing party turns next!　我相信，就好像Bultins渡假村．他們要你穿上紅外套，輪流加入派對．
(*Bultins是英國半個世紀前的旅遊產業，他們的Red coat工作人員有點像是ClubMed的遊樂引導員的前身)
Lorna: We're on our way to the clinic. 我們要去診所．
Bodybag: There's always something wrong with them, have you noticed?你有沒有注意到她們老是有病號？
Lorna: She's having her termination today, remember? 她要去墮胎，記得嗎？
Bodybag: Oh right. Well why didn't you say?　對哦．(對著Zandra)　妳怎麼不講？
Zandra: I find it hard to talk about my real feelings miss.　因為難以表達我真實的感情．(這句話要配Zandra的語氣才能感到那股酸勁)

注意在辨公室這一場的人物走位和攝影運鏡．像此幕Zandra原本是畫面中最前面的一位，四個人由前往後排序，後來Zandra被Lorna從Bodybag的後面被拉走．走位靈活，不像有些本地的電視節目，所有演員站一橫排，像是老式的話劇表演．

Zandra似乎一開始就計劃脫逃，不斷把手銬突顯出來，讓Dominic和Lorna不是滋味．在候診時，Zandra故意舉起鏈銬驚嚇旁人："And they're into bondage! 他們就是喜歡把人銬起來．"

到了診間更進一步心理戰．左對Dominic哀求："Sir? Can you help me get my knickers off? I've only got one hand. 請幫我脫內褲吧，我只有一隻手．"
右對Lorna消遣："It's going to be cosy this isn't it miss? You and me lying on the bed together while I have my operation. 陪我一起躺著動手術，應該會非常舒適．"

結果Dominic自動退出房間，Zandra如願解除手銬．她下一步就是連Lorna亦支開．Zandra哭哭啼啼地要Lorna在手術後看望她未成形的胎兒，搞得Lorna心情大亂，只想遠離這個瘋女人．Lorna心想只有一個出口，便留下Zandra獨自一人．Zandra的表情就像川劇的變臉，把前一秒的哭臉一拉，馬上偷了外套，趁防守空檔逃之夭夭．

Zandra直接殺到Robin的家，不管未來可能的婆婆當門阻撓，直接破門而入．這有似曾相識之感，想起Nikki在第二季結尾逃獄，也這樣堵到Helen家門口．而Shell第三季逃獄時，在安頓後，則是潛入Bodybag的家大搞破壞．想來逃獄出來的原始願望，不是最愛，就是最恨．

Zandra為了Robin與人成婚之事，割過他的臉，雙方不歡而散．小妮子事後反悔，還是想用愛的結晶來挽回．只可惜她的聰明才智只用在逃獄，沒想過溝通策略，結果只換來男方懷疑小孩的血源．無止境地絕望地獄，過了一階，這就再下一階．

如果你是牢犯，是否逃出監獄就可以去任何地方？Zandra還是回來了．就像Fingersmith裡Maud從Lant Street逃出，還復歸來．外界更無依靠是原因之一，但何嘗不是那一刻眾叛親離，哀莫大於心死．

服役期滿是否就能夠放鬆享受？在＜The Shawshank Redemption 刺激1995＞我始終記得老男人Ellis(Morgan Freeman飾)久經制約，出獄後反而不解自由之身．在Bad Girls亦有近似心理寫照：後來Crystal出獄的第一個晚餐竟沒有期望中的風華心情；Julies矮茱在外無福享受兒子石中劍的表演，拚了命回來找意圖自殺的Julies高茱....

Lorna希望Dominic佯裝什麼事都沒有發生過，但是所有的秘密勒索，就像毒癮，從沒有和平共存這回事，只有斷絕是最好的處理．沒想到這個引子後來勾起Shell的壞主意，讓Lorna成為第一個吃到Shell苦頭的獄官．

倒是Lorna在車上對Zandra的一頓訓誡，很真實地把獄官由善轉惡的心理呈現出來，令人難得地同情他們的處境："Cause from now on, every time a con asks me to take the cuffs off while she has a baby or whatever, I'm going to think, "why the hell should I trust her?". And I'm going to put a lot of women through a lot of pain not because I want to, but because of what you just did. So think about that next time you piss one of us about, Zandra, yeah? 從今以後，哪個騙子為了小孩什麼的而要求解下手銬，我一定會想，為什麼要相信她？我將會讓很多女人吃苦．不是因為我想做，而是因為妳的所作所為．下次妳再對我們不滿時，好好想想，珊德拉？"

Shell開始大動作地進行後宮鬥爭．她命令Rachel在探訪日要把毒販的包裹夾帶進來，否則對其小孩不利．Rachel嚇得打電話找母親幫忙，卻得不到支持，壓力開始形成．




Shell故意在用餐打菜時好言好語，Rachel回以避之惟恐不及的反應，Helen看到這一幕，便過來開導Rachel．但是Helen的判斷很奇怪，難道她還不知道Shell一向是猫哭耗子假慈悲？
Helen: Nothing wrong, is there?　有什麼問題？
Rachel: No, miss.　沒有．(我們可以統計一下，曾對Helen堅不吐實的犯人洋洋灑灑一長串)
Helen: You know, you'd settle in a lot quicker if you let people help you. 如果讓別人幫助妳，可以早點適應環境．（Helen妳是指讓Shell來幫忙？)
Rachel: What?　什麼？ (我的反應與Rachel同樣不可思議)
Helen: Well, just now at the servery. You should make more of an effort. Stop being so standoffish. People mean well. Give them a chance, eh?　剛才在打菜時，妳應該多努力．不要太冷漠．別人是善意的，給一些機會吧？ (難怪有人批評Helen太天真，她還看不出其中的路數)

Nikki在白色襯衫內，穿著露出肚子的短衫．在這一季裡，她是稍微豐餘了點，化妝也顯濃艷了些，我曾開玩笑說她像日本寶塚女扮男裝的演員．

Monica和Nikki談起探訪日，Monica說她兒子生病Spencer不能來．Nikki經歷幾次電話找不到Trish的挫折，不知為何竟緊張起與Trish會面之事．現在想來，這不是交談，是倆人在交換不祥的預感：Spencer之後病死，Trish在這一集正式與Nikki勞燕分飛．

Rachel的母親來探視，她不但兩手空空，連Rachel的小孩也沒帶來．Rachel的情緒因小孩託人寄養而大受影響．從母親處得不到毒品促成她的死因，從母親處見不著小孩，則為她的死因披上一層看不透的霧紗．



Trish來話家常，抱怨起水電工程的不愉快，Nikki把吃苦當吃補，很有耐心地聽她訴苦．
Nikki: Should've got a woman to do it. 不該讓女人做這種事 (怎麼有這種封建T的思想？)
Trish: Tell me about it. 還用妳說
Nikki: You didn't want to make me jealous did you? I know. I decided after your last visit, i'm going to keep my nose clean from now on, whatever it takes, I could be out of here in 10 years if I play my cards right. If you can wait that long. 妳該不是要我吃味吧？從上次會面後，我就決定不再惹麻煩．如果表現良好，可能10年就出獄了．如果妳可以等那麼久．

It drives me crazy when I ring and you're not there, still, I expect you're busy with the bathroom and that. I know you love me, that's all that keeps me going, you do still love me don't you? Trish?　打電話找不著妳真讓我發狂，我還是希望妳有修浴室之類的事可忙．只有知道妳愛我，才能支撐我下去．妳還愛我吧，崔西亞？ (有些事情不能問．當你心中存疑，就要看你有多大的本錢去追求實情)

翻牌的時刻終於來臨．
Trish: I'll always love you Nik. You know I will.　我會一直愛妳，尼．妳曉得的． (只是此愛非彼愛了)
Nikki: That's alright then...What's her name?　沒關係了....她是誰？ (Nikki最擅長表現這種極力壓抑，但又不小心暴開的情緒）
Trish: Please don't be angry with me, Nik. 不要生我的氣，尼．
Nikki: I knew it. 我就知道．
Trish: It's been two years, Nikki. 已經兩年了，尼琪．
Nikki: It's been the same for me.　我也是啊．
Trish: I know. I know, but I can't handle it. 我了解．我了解，但我沒有辦法．
Nikki: And I can? It's a million times worse in here.　我就可以？這裡的處境要糟上千萬倍．
Trish: Look, we always said if we found it too hard....我們一直說如果覺得太難...
Nikki: But you're all I've got!　可是妳是我唯一所有．
Trish: I know. But what's the point if we can't be together? Do we just stop living for ten years?　我知道．可是不能在一起又有什麼用？我們要停住10年的生活嗎？
Nikki: I stop living either way if you do this. Is it anyone I know? So that's it? Just like that?　妳這樣做反正我也活不下去了．是我認識的人嗎？算分手了？就這樣了嗎？　（Nikki一直在問是否認識對方，她好像不太了解The L Word裡接力換伴的肥皂劇傳統？）
Trish: I'm sorry, Nik.　我很抱歉，尼．


Nikki: Frees us both up, I suppose. That's one way of looking at it.　換另一個角度想，這可讓彼此自由．
Trish: Why? Have you met someone?　為什麼？妳看上誰了？
Nikki: There's a few nice girls in here.　這裡有些不錯的人．
Trish: You never said. 妳從沒提過．
Nikki: No. Well, as long as we were an item, I hadn't done much about it. 我不會提的．只要我們還在一起，我不會逾距．
Trish: I said you'd meet someone. 所以妳真的看上某人．
Nikki: You were right.　可以這麼說．
Trish: We're still friends?　我們還是朋友嗎？
Nikki: Of course we are. 當然還是朋友．（這是拉子"世界大同"的傳統）

有趣的是，我們在203 曾看到Trish拒菸與拒絕Nikki有連帶暗示．Trish最後拿出一盒菸送給了Nikki．我們知道送菸是探監的習慣．但是戒菸的Trish送菸給Nikki，頗能詮釋：「雖然我離開妳(戒菸)，但仍會是朋友(送菸)」．　

編劇真的很厚愛Nikki的角色，讓她以如此騎士精神的方式揮別Trish的感情．雖然觀眾都在暗地竊喜，她與Helen的好戲終於可以上場，但在這一刻，我們還是要用同理心，與她一起向Trish默哀致敬．

Nikki回到囚室，觸摸著Trish的照片．同樣的動作後來出現在Helen身上，第二季Helen誤判將Nikki轉獄，也是觸摸著Nikki的照片．而Trish這張照片正是她準備點菸的畫面，現在她已戒菸，更顯得與Nikki此情此景不在．

Monica進來安慰她，Nikki強打精神："Yeah, well, there's my vegetable patch out the back, and books to read, I'll be fine. 沒關係，還可忙後面田裡的蔬菜，還有很多書可讀，我不會有大礙．"

Monica追問起分手的細節：
Monica: How was she?　她怎麼說
Nikki: Nervous as hell. I even told her I met someone else, make it easy for her. Crazy isn't it? They kick you in the face and...　緊張地要死．我甚至騙她我另有新歡，讓她好過點．我瘋了吧？別人傷害你....
Monica: It's called love I believe. 這就是愛．
Nikki: The reason i'm in here, love.　I took out the copper who tried to rape her. 愛，也是我入獄的原因．
Monica: What happened? 發生什麼事？

Nikki入獄的經過首度披露．根據203的框景論，我們來看她的身陷囹圄．
Nikki: I turned up at the club one night to take her home. There was just her and this shit who used to come in. D.S. Gossard. You had to butter up the local filth to keep them off your backs. Most of them were OK, but Gossard. 那晚我去店裡接她．現場只有她和那個常來的狗屎－－勾煞．你得打點好當地的爛貨，免得他們找麻煩．大部份的人都還好，除了勾煞．

He had her pressed against the bar and he was saying: "Come on, rug-muncher, have some of the real thing for a change." I just saw red. I picked up a bottle and I smashed it over his head. He just laughed. So I stuck what was left of it in his neck. Soon took the smirk off his face. 他把她壓到吧台，還說："來吧，女同志，換個真實的東西吧"．我火冒三丈．拿起酒瓶就往他頭上砸．他居然笑了．所以我就把手上的破瓶子刺到他頸子．他再也嘻皮笑臉不起來．

I could be out here in then years. I'll be 44. While she moves on and....還有10年才出獄，我會是44歲了．當她另結新歡，而我....

Monica: You can move on, too, Nikki. 妳也可以另找對象，尼琪．
Nikki: In here? Don't make me laugh!　在這裡？別說笑了！

Nikki刺警案是G Wing的傳奇，所以大家對她有幾分敬畏．絕的是第二季末Shell有樣學樣，拿破瓶子刺Jim，可惜刺到肚子，沒讓他一命嗚呼．更絕的是，第三季Nikki知道Jim對Helen性騷擾，佯裝要拿玻璃瓶，把刺傷受創後遺症的Jim嚇得冷汗直流．

Monica: Look, you're feeling low. Why not talk it over with your personal officer?　妳只是情緒低落．為什麼不和妳的指定獄官談談．
Nikki: Give it a rest Monica! Look, I know you mean well and all that but Lorna Rose? How could anyone thick enough to work here help me?　別鬧了，莫尼卡．我知道妳是出於善意，但是向羅娜求助？這裡那有夠資深的人可以幫助我？
Monica: You've had a bad experience.　妳以前的經驗很糟．
Nikki: And i'll deal with it like I have to deal with everything from now on, on my own.　我自己會處理，就像從今以後我不會依靠任何人．


Shell發動一波波攻擊．故意將熱茶倒在Rachel身上．她事後很委屈地蜷伏在床上．這個肢體語言在Bad Girls出現過幾次，連Nikki在第三季都出現一樣的取景，看來導演在處理好幾十集的影集，難免會資源回收(recycling)．

Rachel向Jim告狀，認為他不能有效處理Shell，反而每況愈下．甚至指責他："You said you'd deal with Shell but you're just shagging her like you'd shag anything in a skirt, you're just using me! 你說你會處理Shell，但你只是在搞她，你愛搞所有穿裙子的動物．你根本在利用我．"

Rachel威脅要舉發三個人間的姦情，Jim便反制，他要撒手不再管Rachel．

另一個資源回收的例子．Shell唱改編的搖籃曲，把Rachel弄得毛骨悚然，開始發狂地弄亂整個囚房，最後坐在地上靠著牆角，等著Bodybag打開門痛罵一頓．編劇處理受欺凌的反應，一模一樣地出現在第三季金髮小T的身上．　


Rachel的算盤是想被隔離監禁，遠離Shell的迫害，可是人算不如天算．Jim搶先報告Rachel可能因小孩的因素而情緒失控．Helen改變處罰方式，反而讓Rachel情勢更危險．
Helen: I'm gonna put you back on the four-bed dorm on the Ones.　我要把妳放到一樓的四人囚房．　
Rachel: What? 什麼？
Helen: You can think yourself lucky you're not going into Segregation.　妳該慶幸沒有被關進隔離監禁．(Helen完全誤會Rachel的反應)
Rachel: But that's where I shuld be sent, isn't it?　但我不是應該被關進那裡嗎？
Helen: Normally, yes. But in view of what's just happened, I'm going be lenient. You can thank Mr. Fenner for that....Rachel, are you sure there's nothing you're not telling me?　原本是的．但因為妳情有可原，決定從輕判刑．妳應感謝費先生的緩頰.....妳是不是有心事沒告訴我？
Rachel: Yes, miss.　沒有．
Helen: Well, I can't keep asking you.　算了，我也不能一直追問著妳．，

在G Wing，沈默有時是大家明哲保身的方法，但更多的時候，是阻礙援助．實話是刀刃的兩面，
G Wing所有人都難以拿捏這個利器．

用餐時刻，兩大苦旦前後形成一列．
Monica: Poor Rachel.　可憐的瑞秋．
Nikki: Yeah, poor Rachel.　是啊，可憐的瑞秋．(Nikki言不由衷，可能她認為自己比較可憐)
Monica: I was thinking, you might need something to help you sleep tonight. Perhaps you should see the nurse. 我想妳可能需要助眠的東西．或許問一下護士．
Nikki: Good idea, has she got a loaded shooter? 好主意，有沒有裝滿子彈的手槍？

在獄中，守望相助的力量是重要的支援體系，Nikki較Rachel有福份，就在於她有真心的好友．
Monica: I don't know if I should say this. It's Nikki Wade.　我不知該不該提．是關於尼琪．魏．
Helen: Oh. What's she done now?　噢，她又做了什麼？ (這什麼態度？)
Monica: No, no, it's nothing bad. It's just she found out today her partner's met someone else.　她沒做壞事．只是今天發現她的另一半另結新歡．
Helen: I see.　原來如此．(怎麼反應只有這樣子而已)
Monica: She was talking about ending it all. I mean, she was joking, and she's tough as old boots, I know. But she did seem rather down.　她提到自殺．我知道只是個玩笑，她像老皮靴一樣強悍．但是她真的情緒很低落．
Helen: Well, thanks for mentioning it. We'll keep an eye on her.　謝謝妳提起．我會注意她 .
Monica: You won't say I spoke to you?　別說是我講的．
Helen: Don't worry.　別擔心．

Helen真是獄事如麻．要請Dominic照顧Rachel，要請所有人注意Nikki，等聽到Zandra臨時不墮胎，更是快受不了這小妮子一天到晚反覆無常．難怪Dominic不敢在那個節骨眼報告Zandra一度脫逃之事，一定招架不住Helen的怒火．

Dominic乖乖地去找Rachel，可能是他的安撫技巧不好（這不是第一次了)，直說她不該毀壞囚房，反而惹毛她．
Rachel: You care more about poxy cells than you do about human beings in this place! 你關心那個微不足道的囚房更甚於人！
Dominic: Oh, I've got no time for this. I've been messed about enough today. We try to help, and we just get shat on. 欸，我沒時間吃妳這一套．今天我已夠受的了．我們想幫忙，卻面對一堆胡扯．
Rachel: No sir, wait......Nothing. 不，長官，等等.....算了沒事．(Rachel原本要吐實，但還是放棄登上最後一班救生艇的機會）

Jim看到Rachel的下場，在旁幸災樂禍："Realised who your friends are now then? 知道誰是妳的朋友了嗎" Rachel想要挽回，卻被Jim推得更遠："Why would I want to shag you? Christ! Just look at yourself! 我為什麼要搞上妳？天呀！看看妳的樣子！"　這個演員詮釋壞蛋的方式真是如火純青．


在囚犯內，眾人聊起Rachel的小孩，聊起上帝存不存在．
Crystal: The only person who can lead you out of captivity is the lord. 上帝是唯一能領妳走出束縛的人.
Zandra: Lord Longford maybe, him up there don't give a shit! 上帝什麼事都不管．
Crystal: That's blasphemy Zandra! You could go to hell for that. 妳是褻瀆上帝．妳會因此而下地獄．
Denny: Bet she's crapping herself!　她只是胡說八道．

不論上帝有沒有存在，都沒有人能拯救Rachel，她開始哭泣，Denny不耐，跳下床對Rachel重重踢了一腳．同時也是送Rachel至地獄的臨門一腳．

單純的肉體迫害並不恐怖，但是如影隨形的心理威脅才是致命一擊．Denny利用外牆垂吊，把Shell的問候卡送給Rachel．圖片上畫著一個娃娃，於喉嚨處畫上一線並註明：在此處割下．Rachel不解為何Denny如此對她．

Rachel: Why are you doing this to me?　為何這樣對待我？
Denny: Nobody crosses Shell Dockley.　沒有人可以反對雪兒．
Rachel: But I haven't done anything to you.　但是我跟妳沒瓜隔．
Denny: Who messes with Shell messes with me! Sweet dreams darling! 誰惹雪兒就是在惹我．祝妳好夢！

Shell的畫卡給她一個靈感，如何永遠脫離痛苦．攝影用二個G Wing寂靜的空景來蘊釀Rachel的悲劇氣氛．Zendra從睡眠中甦醒，驚恐床頭有一個人從窗欄上懸吊自盡 ．叫聲劃破清晨．

在Bad Girls出現過許多自殺方式，不論是後來Zandra意圖跳樓，Monica吞服大量安眠藥，還有某個富家女頭罩塑膠袋...都沒有高於他殺的成功率．Rachel的案例曾引起討論，難道她沒有死前掙扎的聲音？她身高真的矮到可以離地掛在窗欄上？

雖然Nikki早已放棄解救Rachel，但是不公不義之事總會點燃她的怒火，再加上分手之痛，簡直就是火上加油．
Nikki: So much for the new regime. Things have changed alright, we've got dead bodies on the wing. 新管理者真是大刀闊斧．我們有了新氣象－－獄中多出死人．
Monica: You can't blame Mrs Stewart for that. 妳不能責備司徒女士．
Nikki: Look at them, bastards! Are you happy now? That the answer eh? (直瞪著Jim）看看這些人，壞蛋！你高興了嗎？這就是回應了？

Bang us all up till we can't stand it anymore, give us all a bodybag when we come in, save you the effort wouldn't it? Just muck out the cells now and again before the flies get stuck in! It was you lot that killed Rachel! 把我們打到受不了為止，乾脆每人發一個裝屍袋好了，還可省你的麻煩？不如把囚房都弄亂，免得檔案夾滿出來！還不是你把Rachel害死的．

Jim: That's enough Wade!　夠了，魏．
Monica: Don't Nikki! It won't do any good.　別說了，沒有好處的．
Nikki: It's all bullshit!　全是胡扯
Monica: Did that come from Trisha?　這是崔西亞寄來的信嗎? (Monica看著Nikki手上的信，很突兀地想要轉移話題)
Nikki: Everybody bullshits!　每個人都在胡扯!

宵禁後，有些無聊份子拿著Rachel之死當玩笑的題材，在囚房間傳來傳去．Crystal認為她們對死者不敬，決定用歌聲制止．這曲清唱真摰感人，居然有那麼一刻，似乎Shell及Denny有短暫的悔悟．

Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound) 奇異恩典 何等甘甜，
That saved a wretch like me! 我罪得以赦免
I once was lost, but now I'm found, 前我失喪 今被尋回
Was blind, but now I see. 瞎眼今得看見
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, 如此恩典 使我敬畏
And grace my fears relieved; 使我心得安慰
How precious did that grace appear, 初信之時，我蒙恩慰
The hour I first believed! 真時何等寶貴
Through many dangers, toils and snares, 許多危險，試煉網羅
We have already come; 我已安然經過
'Tis grace has brought me safe thus far, 靠主恩典，安全不怕
And grace will lead me home. 更引導我歸家......

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Bad Girls S1E03 : Love Rival

Love Rival 愛的拉鋸戰

這一集的重點是對愛情、親情的追求，甚至是出於莫名情愫．每個角色都付出不同的努力．主線是Zandra：想用婚姻來留住Robin，想用戒毒來取得Helen的支持．在竭力掙扎的過程中，毒癮總在暗處幽幽地招著手；Jim暗擁齊人之美，卻在Rachel與Shell之間疲於奔命；Monica決定上訴，著手回家團圓的捷徑；Nikki與Trish已經悄悄生變，無力回天，另一端卻是Helen莫名所以，想盡方法拉攏Nikki....

攝影很刻意地大量用「框架」取景，我們看到鏡頭出現監獄直欄杆，鐵網，以及門框，連Helen的住家都出現百葉窗這種類框架的安排．一般電影出現門框，是表現受到局限拘束，用在監獄的場景是再恰當不過．但有時候它會讓觀眾自覺到身為一個旁觀者，冷眼近觀劇中人喜怒哀樂．

獄外花圃除了用以植花蒔草消磨時間，還供作迎接天上禮物降落的停機坪，用這種方式夾帶進場，出現二三次之多，很好奇怎麼投擲如此奇準，而且時機恰到好處．這次空運毒品，進場一連轉手五次，才由Zandra以一對耳環易手．Zandra就算102遭受Denny的折磨，還是抵不了毒癮的誘惑．Bodybag稍後嘲笑她戒毒的可能性，雖然是一貫地刻薄，卻也難掩獄中抗毒載浮載沈的實錄．

Zandra打了海洛英，全身癱軟在床上，連Monica都看出她陷入渙散．當Bodybag來派信，看到她的模樣，只是虛應故事："You can read it yourself when you get back to earth.　當妳回到地面上，自己再看妳的信吧．" Monica不敢置信，獄官明明知道犯人用毒，卻是多一事不如少一事，難怪反毒成效不佳．

Helen正在享受難得的三天連休假．前景的百葉窗開啟本集「框景」的攝影序曲．此時Helen是與Sean快樂同居的伴侶，央求："I want to do something." (不知是在Sugar Rush寫多了Kim的"I thought we are going to do something"，看到這個句型就聯想到性暗示，果然如此．)

Sean的回答呼應百葉窗的暗喻:"Tell you what I want to do. Keep you prisoner in here. Show you how the other half lives. 我告訴妳我的打算．把妳囚禁在這裡，宣告妳下半輩子的日子"

枕邊細語沒多就變調，Helen其實放不下工作，沒兩句就說到Jim，Sean安慰她不要鑽牛角尖．Helen也想不要破壞氣氛，便翻身轉以上位壓制Sean．這個鏡頭讓人會心微笑，她不只工作積極，習於掌控，可能在床上的表現亦相去不遠．別看Nikki高頭大馬，後來在Helen的懷中脆弱地像個小女生．

我常思考Helen傾心Nikki的原因，當然Nikki的氣質凡人無法擋，但是倆人對抗Jim和陳腐體系的革命情感，恐怕是很強大的催化力，在這一個精神層面上，是好好先生Sean完全無力與Nikki匹敵．

Jim像是隨時發情的公狗，居然追到圖書室找Rachel求歡．看到Nikki在旁嘖嘖不表贊同，趁支開Rachel的空檔，向前咬耳朵．
Fenner: Listen to me you interfering dyke. Just keep that snout of yours where it belongs or you'll end up shagging the end of my boot! 妳這愛管閒事的同性戀給我聽清楚．把妳的嘴巴管好，要不然妳最後只能落到跟我的鞋尖磨蹭！（真可怕的經典台詞，對女性和同志的惡劣歧視)

Nikki: You really know how to talk to a woman, don't you Fenner? 你真是懂得如何跟女人交談，不是嗎，姓費的？

Nikki對這種場面，一點都不激動，而且反擊時不帶髒字，是EQ,IQ俱佳的表現．只是她一碰到對Helen吃醋，就完全亂了章法，愛情是她最大的罩門　

說Jim是隨時發情的公狗，還不及說他是隨地撒尿的雄性動物．他關上門便要Rachel為他口交．大白天什麼時候了，竟如此按捺不住？




妙的是，接下的鏡頭是有人把沒喝完的殘汁倒入餿水桶．Jim與Rachel肉體關係之鄙夷莫過於此．

注意前景開始出現的直欄杆．還有這藍杯與黃桶，多麼講究攝影形式之美． 另外，下次你可以注意一下，餿水桶特寫鏡頭出現好幾次．總覺得編劇有話要說．

Monica一身黑衣長裙像亡靈般行走在底層，Nikki反而是一片白衣白褲像天使從樓梯走下來適時撫慰Monica．我得說Nikki這種二件式上衣的穿法，特別是裡件的圓形領口突出於V領長衫之上，常見於男性，不過她的V領長衫較貼身，不似男性的寬鬆，等於是男型的修正版．尤其是Nikki第二季之後更形消瘦，她的外罩衫便越加貼身．


Monica正擔心兒子史賓塞再度探望可能會慘事重演．
Monica: After last time, Spencer was terrified. He doesn't understand, you see. No me in here—non of it. It's not good for him to be exposed to all this, this...nastiness. 經歷過上一次，史賓塞嚇壞了．他不了解這一切．這真的不妥，讓他接觸這些，這些.....醜陋的一面．
Nikki: Listen, you've got to try and be positive, luv. You want to get your appeal sorted, don't you? So, make sure that happens. Don't let it slip like I did. Try and get back to Spencer. 妳一定要試著正面思考，親愛的．妳想準備上訴，不是嗎？一定要完成它．別像我一樣流失機會．想辦法回到史賓塞身邊．

Shell只要看到Nikki與任何女性親近，就會開起惡劣的玩笑．
Shell: Going for something a bit more upmarket are you Wade?　開始從中上階級挑起女友了嗎，姓魏的？　(*upmarket有中產階級的意思，但也含有中高年齡層的雙關語)
Nikki: Get lost Dockley. 滾開，姓杜的
Shell: What's she got the other girls ain't? Mink instead of beaver? 她有什麼是別的女孩沒有的？不過是值錢的貂皮，而不是廉價的狸毛．
Nikki: Anymore of that and I'll wipe that filthy gob of yours right across your face! 妳再講一句，我就把妳下流的口水抹到妳整臉都是．

Shell的靠山來展現領主的保護能力．
Jim: And any more of that off you, Wade, and you'll be on report.同樣，妳再多講，姓魏的，我就會打妳的小報告．
Shell: See you around, Wade. 後會有期，姓魏的．
Nikki: You want to watch it, Mr. Fenner. One of these days, that one will bite it off.　你會親眼見識，費先生，總有一天，那個人會反咬你一口．

Zandra打電話給Robin，與Nikki的遭遇相同，電話那一頭越來越像風箏斷了線．她焦慮不安，低聲下氣向Denny開口買藥，一張電話卡既然找不到情人，不如交換短暫地麻痺．




三天連休假後，Helen找行動電話找到上班快遲到，Sean還疑惑在獄中上班為什麼需要行動電話．這是1999年的世界，Sean的疑惑情有可原．我們後來知道，如果沒有行動電話，Helen在第三季不可能馬上知道獄中發生騷動，而能趁機送Nikki回去．

有趣的是，Sean拿給Helen的杯子是彩虹色環．Helen，妳喝了這杯再上路，從此同志道上不回頭．

Helen充電之後，腳步略為輕快，這張擷圖看似雙人踢踏舞．我還挺喜歡Helen這身長褲套裝，看起來修長且幹練多了，比裙裝的效果好．因為她穿的鞋子較陽剛，配裙子反而顯得線條僵硬．




這一張鐵網下的全景，中間就是全身白衣的Nikki．只有這個取景，我們才能看到她穿著夾趾拖鞋．其實夾趾拖鞋是男同志喜愛的鞋型，特別是皮製薄底，更能顯示他們特有的文質彬彬．這回Nikki外加白色大襯衫，內套圓領衫，當然這也是男士穿衣法的改良版，在選色上不偏向男性化．在那個時代，要塑造一個令人喜愛的拉子形象，服裝組一定是小心翼翼地打點，既要點出拉味，又要不失女人味．

Helen視察用餐，不小心撞到Nikki． (*為什麼英國影集喜歡用撞見，Sugar Rush就用了二次)
Nikki: Sorry 對不起 (Nikki本來想罵人，看到是Helen便改口)
Helen: No, my fault. Oh, you finished Middlemarch? 不，是我的錯．(往下一看) 妳看完了〔米德鎮的春天〕？ (*喬治．艾略特的著作)
Nikki: Something you want, miss?　有何貴幹？

Helen: No, I don't think so. 沒事
Nikki: Then if you don't mind, I'm hungry.　如果妳不介意．我要去用餐．(上一集才被脫光搜身，Nikki怎麼可能很快對Helen有好感)
Jim: Oi! Let's have some respect. That's no way to speak to your governor.　嘿！要有點禮貌．不可以這樣對典獄長說話．

Jim批評Nikki是非常難纏的人，趁機破壞Helen對她的印象．但Helen完全不領情：吉姆，我不需要保鏢．我自己可以處理犯人，謝謝．




Robin終於來探望Zandra．他帶來的消息，比Trish戒煙還震驚：他為了母親而戒毒了．Zandra覺得被Robin遺棄．他鼓勵Zandra，可以在獄中戒毒，她認為不可思議："Give up, in here? Yeah, and the Pope buys French ticklers from Tesco's. 在這裡戒毒？好比教宗會到量販店買情趣保險套一樣不可能"
(*French ticklers=特殊造型的保險套；Tesco:英國有名的連鎖大賣場，在台灣稱作特易購，前一陣子把本地分店轉讓與Carrefour法商家樂福，結束此間經營計劃．)

Zandra雖然覺得Robin與她漸行漸遠，為了用結婚挽回男友的心，決定靠自己的意志克服毒癮．但是不同的力量在她身上拉鋸．Denny看不下去她每天哭哭啼啼，甚至免費提供毒品："Look, have some stuff. It's on me. Anything to stop you stinking us out with puke for another night.　來一點吧，我請客．只要讓妳今晚不要嘔吐，別再薰死我們"


Helen與Zandra討論她獄中結婚之事，沒多久便開罵："...Drug—you use them in here. It's common knowledge that you walked into G Wing with a stash inside of you. It's the biggest problem that we've got at Larkhall and you're part of it. So, do you honestly think that I owe you any favors? 妳在獄中使用毒品．想也知道妳入獄時便藏著毒品．拉寇最大的問題是毒品，而妳涉入其中．所以妳真的認為我會支持妳獄中成婚？

Zandra坦白是因為男友戒毒了，所以她想跟上腳步．這才軟化Helen: "If you've gone four days without any help, then I'm very impressed. I know it can't have been easy. Zandra, you have got every reason to beat it. I hear you used to want to be a model. Well, maybe you can make it when you get out of here. 我很感動妳能不靠外力撐4天．這很不容易．有很多目標值得妳去戒毒．聽說妳以前想當模特兒．或許戒毒出獄後可以去實現夢想．

Helen希望她除了挽回男友之外，還要有其他的動機去支撐，很可惜她看不透人生的選擇，一旦男友離他而去，戒毒便失去動力．

Helen順勢用戒毒作為交換婚禮的條件，幫助她在團體治療中得到力量．她有一段不幸的童年，換過一個又一個寄養家庭，15歲便接觸海洛英，到獄中時已有5年的用毒歷史．

不是所有的人都鼓勵Zandra戒毒，正反方的力量始終存在．像Bodybag還暗地挖苦："There's about as much chance of Plackett coming off the nasty as of Cliff Richard inviting me up to his hotel room for cream cakes and sex. 她戒毒成功的可能性，好比是音樂天王會邀請我到他的旅館去享受冰淇淋蛋糕與一場性愛．"

Cliff Richarda是英國老牌音樂天王，有英國貓王之稱．Bodybag的比喻是Bad Girls對白中很典型的英式幽默．

獄中有惡魔，也有天使，不斷互相角力．Nikki大部份時間是別人的天使，自己的惡魔．這會兒Nikki想儘辦法最後一次說服Rachel．
Nikki: All right, Rachel. I thought I warned you about Fenner. 好吧，瑞秋，我想我曾向妳警告過姓費的．
Rachel: Look, I don't want to talk about it. 我不想談這件事．
Nikki: Listen, the man's a pig. He's got a wife, you know, and children. 聽著，這個男人是豬啊．他己有老婆和小孩．
Rachel: It's none of your business. 這不干妳的事．
Nikki: I don't care what he's told you but once your time's up in here, that'll be it if he don't get sick of you sooner. 我不管他說什麼，只要妳期滿出獄，你們就玩完了，除非他在那之前就對妳膩了．
Rachel: Look, Mr. Fenner's done a lot for me. He talks to me like a human being, for a start. Not like most people in here.　費先生幫了我很多忙．他把我當人一樣地看待，不像這裡大多數的人．

Nikki: Face it, Rachel. All you are is bit on the inside. Cause in here he can control you and do what he wants. As long as you play ball, there's no comebacks. 看清楚，瑞秋，妳不過是甕中之鱉，他可以隨心所欲控制妳．只要妳繼續下去，永無回報．
Rachel: Yeah, whatever.　隨便妳怎麼說．
Nikki: Christ, Rachel. You know you're not the only one in here. Shit. It's your life. 天呀，瑞秋．妳該清楚妳不是唯一的後宮．算了，這都是妳的命．

很不幸的，當Nikki不想再扮演Rachel的天使時，卻在後面不小心扮演了惡魔---或是說惡魔的推手．

Nikki還是當Monica的天使是比較有成就感．
Monica: I thought you should know. I've sacked that awful solicitor who represented me at the trial, and I've hired a new one. He's already applied for a date at the Court of Appeal.　我想讓妳知道．我開除原來差勁的初級律師，聘請新的．他已經安排上訴庭的日期． (*與美國的法庭制度不同，solicitor是初級律師，並不會上場進行辯護質問．真正上場的律師是戴著假髮穿黑袍的人)
Nikki: Good. I'm glad you're staying positive. 很高興妳能保持積極．
Monica: Well, I've been talking to some of the other women. It's helped a lot. 我和一些人談過．收穫很多．

Monica說完瞄向Nikki，誰是良友不言可喻．Nikki在Helen的心底，不斷加重份量．

這一集新增角色是Crystal，篤信宗教，卻因為順手牽羊判刑12個月．Monica被轉移到單人囚室，便由她接手與Denny, Zandra同室．Shell趕來探探有沒有門路，順便嬉鬧新人．
Shell: These cells are pretty cramped, and the nights can go on forever. You got to have something to pass the time. 囚房狹窄，而長夜漫漫．妳要有所慰藉才能熬過去．
Crystal: I've got the Lord.　我有上帝．
Shell:…The rest of us have to make do with each other…Enjoy that, did you, Crystal?　我們得互相慰藉(故意吻起Denny)....喜歡嗎，克麗思朵？
Crystal: Will you two be so hot for each other when you're burning in hell? You should ask God to forgive you. 妳們下地獄受煎刑就會了解有多火熱了．妳們真該求上帝寬恕．(不曉得Crystal曾經對Nikki說過這種警語嗎？)

從欄杆外，我們看到Jim與Shell狀甚親暱地交談．除了觀眾之外，Helen也親眼目睹．




Helen終於感覺到Jim的異樣行為，但是她的處理方式，就和她的反毒措施一樣，被限制在框架裡，仍然是動彈不得，Helen和Jim都是籠中物，作彼此的困獸之鬥．



Helen終於找到機會向Jim一探心中的疑惑．
Helen: You, umm, get on well with Michelle Dockely, don't you? 你和蜜雪兒．杜處得很好？
Fenner: I'd like to think I get on well with most of the girls in here.　我認為我與大部份的女孩處得很好
Helen: Women, Jim, it's not a Swiss finishing school. 是女人，吉姆，這又不是瑞士女子學校．
Jim: No. So I'd noticed. Is there a problem, Helen?　我了解．有什麼問題，海倫？
Helen: Not that I'm aware of but your relationship with the women is pretty relaxed, isn't it? 我發現你和女性的相處方式很隨意，對吧？(這種感覺式問法，只是把球做給對方回擊．應該要有明確實例才能就事論事．)
Jim: Well, I've been in the job some fourteen years. I've found it's the best way to work. Encourages trust. not resentment. If, of course, based on your experience you'd prefer me to stiffen up, get heavier, just say the word. You are the boss.　我已工作14年，認為這是最好的方式．鼓勵互信而非怨恨．當然，如果妳喜歡用嚴厲的手段，儘速吩咐．妳是主管．(Jim太會講場面話！)

Helen: That's right, I am. I know you don't like it but it's a fact of life. 沒錯，我是主管．你不喜歡，但這是事實． (這句離題了，把整個對話導向人身攻擊)
Fenner: What I like or don't isn't important, but if the Home Office decides that it wants University graduates with little or no experience running its prisons that's their look out.　我喜不喜歡不重要．但如果上層要找學院出身的菜鳥來管理犯人，那是他們該提心吊膽．(這是Jim第一次當著面非常不客氣地反擊)
Helen: I see. 原來如此．
Fenner: Well, if that's all, miss? 沒事我就告退了．

他離開的鏡頭很有意思，未關上的門，已看不見人，只見到離去的影子．接下來我們會看到Helen不斷出現在門框中，暗示她被限制在規範或是困境之中．反而像Jim之徒，完全不在門框裡，遊走於法規之外．

Nikki打電話給Trish，再度撲空，又開始對著電話答錄機自怨自哀："Sorry I've missed you again. Wish you'd let me know what you're doing. Who knows? Maybe then I'll catch you in. Love you, Trisha. 對不起，我又錯過了妳．希望我知道妳在做什麼．或許再打給妳吧．我愛妳，崔西亞．"

編劇對Nikki還有一種慣性安排：對電話答錄機留言次數最多．

Helen走到Nikki的囚房門口，身影剛好在門框內．前景的Nikki雖在囚房內，卻是自由不受限制．
Helen: More George Eliot? It's good to see the women using the library. 另一本喬治．艾略特(註)的著作？真高興有人使用圖書室．
Nikki: People in here aren't stupid you know, they're brighter then your screws anyway. 這裡的犯人並不愚蠢，她們比妳的部屬聰明多了．　

Helen: My officers are trained professionals.我的部屬都是訓練有素的專員．(這像不像一個卡在框架裡的人會說的話？)
Nikki: Well if Fenner's anything to go by you'd be better training chimpanzees.　如果費拿真可以一個口令一個動作，妳不如去訓練黑猩猩
Helen: He reckons you're a tough nut, difficult for difficult's sake he says.　他認為妳很麻煩，故意惹事．

Nikki: Yeah, well I'm not in his fan club am I?　因為我沒加入他的後宮俱樂部．
Helen: What's that supposed to mean?　什麼意思？
Nikki:You work it out for yourself.　妳自己去想．
Helen: If Mr Fenner's conduct is less than professional you'd better tell me Nikki.　如果費先生有任何不專業的地方，妳最好告訴我，尼琪．
Nikki: Look, I'm nobody's nark. Especially not yours.　我不是任何人的眼線，尤其不是妳的．(Helen又碰了一鼻子灰，好像沒有人可遂她的意)

George Eliot喬治．艾略特(1819-1880)
網路上介紹她是英國維多利亞時代三大小說家之一，與狄更斯和薩克萊齊名。本名叫Mary Anne Evens以喬治艾略特這個男性化的筆名發表小說，成為家喻戶曉的作家。其作品包括了Middlemarch(米德鎮的春天)、The Mill on the Floss (河畔磨坊)、Silas Marner(織工馬南傳)．Nikki手上拿的是織工馬南傳

Nikki難得來縫紉室串門子，和Julies雙姝,Zandra談起異性戀的結婚動機．
Nikki: I think it's madness. Anyone's got to be mad to get married.　真是瘋狂，只有瘋了才會想結婚．
Julies: Excuse me. Some of us happen to like men. 拜託，有些人是剛好喜歡男人的．(我喜歡高姝的回答，她們真的把Nikki當作一般朋友相處)

Nikki調皮地問起Zandra："So, tell me, What is it about Robin that makes you want to be cuffed to him for the rest of your life? 告訴我，羅賓憑什麼讓妳想和他一輩子銬在一起？
Zandra: He's good-looking. He's kind. Never hit me once. And I love him. And he loves me so much he's chcking up his parents and all their money to be with me. 他帥，人又好，從沒打過我．我愛他．他為了愛我而放棄家人及金錢接濟．(我相信Robin是值的爭取的好男人，只怪時空背景不再相同)

當Nikki問起Zandra為什麼要爭取Robin，Sean同樣問起Helen為什麼要爭取Nikki，但是Sean的答案比Helen的更旁觀者清．

話說Helen在起居室幫Sean準備盆栽，突然想請Sean去G Wing為她們講習．
Helen: There's this woman on the wing. She'd be great ally amongst the inmates if I could get her on my side. The trouble is, I've tried everything. She's not interested. But she's into gardening. 那裡有號人物．如果能把她拉攏過來，她在犯人中會是很好的助手．問題是，我試過所有方法，她都不感興趣．但她喜歡園藝．
Sean: Let me guess. Nikki Wade. 我猜是尼琪．魏

Sean: I know the prisoners are important to you Helen but that one's becoming an obsession, anyway, didn't you say she was a lesbian? 我知道妳重視犯人，但對她已變成迷戀．妳不是說過她是拉子？
Helen: Yeah, she is.　她是啊．
Sean: Well maybe that's your problem, you're the right species but the wrong variety. You like your gardeners to wear Y-fronts, don't you? 說不定問題出在，妳是對的性別(女性)，錯的族群(異性戀)，妳喜歡讓園丁穿男性緊身短褲（Y-fronts）嗎？

*回顧一下生物學．生物的主要分類階層：界Kingdom/門Phylum/綱Class/目Order/科Family/屬Genus/種Species． Varity比Species還要再往下一階細分．同種表示可交配，下一代也有生殖能力，除非是同一性別．Sean的這句話，我自覺不容易翻譯，Lang阿朗建議用「對的性別，錯的族群」應該是最貼切的．

Helen與Crystal進行會談，這個門框取景更擺明倆個人在自己的框架裡礙手礙腳．

Helen希望Crystal在獄中能多學習實用技藝，Crystal反唇是學習偷車、扒竊、混合毒品，接著抱怨起毒品氾濫，Helen極力辯駁，語氣中有些無奈："... But the fact is the users are very determined and my hands are tied by regulations. There's som places the women just can't be searched. ...這些毒犯很頑強，我們被規定綁手綁腳．不能搜查女性某些部位．"
Crystal: So, the regulations mean you can't do you job? 所以這些規定反而讓妳做不了事．(妳有十誡，還不是克不住扒竊癮？)

Crystal: This ain't a prison. It's a circus and you and your guards are the clowns. 這不是監獄．妳和守衛不過是馬戲團的小丑．(好像誰都可以對Helen嗆聲似的)
Helen: I'm sorry you see it like that. You might find the show is not as much fun as you thought. 很抱歉妳這樣認為．妳可能會發現節目沒有想像的有趣．(我看Helen已經到了忍耐的極限，只是她不曉得Crystal還沒開始攪局)

Nikki在樓梯上遇見Monica，除了關心還多加鼓勵．我承認Nikki對Monica有著超乎尋常的親近，可能是一種對替代母親的孺慕之情．不過我曾看過一段拍攝現場，Nikki開玩笑作勢要親吻Monica的臉頰，看來導演確實想製造那種想像空間．



每到此時，Shell一定要來搗亂．
Shell: What do you reckon it is with Wade and the hooray, Denny? She's not exactly a looker, is she?　是不是該給姓魏的一些歡呼，丹妮？她才不是旁觀者而已，對吧？
Nikki: You're all worked up about my love life Dockley, seems you'd be better keeping an eye on your own, from what I've seen I'd say your friend Fenner's traded you in for a younger model.　妳太專注在我的愛情生活(有點不好意思地看一下Monica)，妳似乎才應該注意自已的，妳姓費的朋友，已用年輕模特兒取代妳了．
Shell: What's that supposed to mean?　什麼意思？
Nikki: R, for Rachel.　瑞...秋．
Shell: Bullshit!　胡說．
Nikki為了反撃，不小心供出Rachel，雖然使Jim為兩邊討好而疲於奔命，但最終還是提早送Rachel走上絕路．

Monica的報紙為Zandra的待嫁心澆了一盆大泠水：Robin與別的女人訂親了．看她穿著禮服坐在Helen的辦公室，哭得像淚人兒，真令人於心不忍．只是這個門框取景告訴我們，她一時半載走不出內心的限制，只在小小的心眼裡打轉．


Helen幫她找來Robin，倆人好好溝通．只可惜這媽媽失而復得的好兒子，只顧著娶新人，迎接新生活，把Zandra戒毒成婚的生存目標，膽怯到聽而不聞．Zandra火大，拿起Helen桌上的筆，往Robin臉上就是一劃．一陣騷動，只引得獄卒強押她回牢裡．他們要推她過那一扇門，她抬起頭，噙著淚，哀慟短暫幸福就此塵封．


同室獄友一起打抱不平，Denny為她的拉子身份再度找到佐證：" You see, that's why I won't have nothing to do with men. They're shit, just shit. 妳看，這就是我不想和男人有牽扯，他們是狗屎，全是狗屎．"

Crystal想改用正面的方式安慰Zandra．
Crystal: Just cause your man turns out bad, it doesn't mean you have to dump your dreams. You don't need him for them. You got to pray for strength. You'll be all right. Just forget him.　妳的男友變心，不表示妳就要放棄夢想．妳不需要他們來實現夢想．妳該祈求力量．一切會好轉的．原諒他吧．
Zandra: I can't　我不能原諒他
Crystal: Of course you can. 妳當然可以．
Zandra: No, not ever..... I'm having his baby.　不行，永不可能....我懷了他的孩子．

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